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another joke
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talisker25
Keeper of the Quaich
Keeper of the Quaich


Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 1991
Location: north east

PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 6:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The latest government advice when going out in the snow and ice is to take a torch, blanket and spade....I looked such a pillock on the bus on the bus going to work this morning

Or

Paddy storms into the job centre and complains that he has spent 2 days trying to get through on the phone and could not get an answer. The receptionist asked what number he had been using and paddy said, 08001745. The receptionist said "You silly t*@t, that's the opening times"

MERRY CHRISTMAS
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i've been on a whisky diet, i've lost 3 days already

The trouble with jogging is that ice falls out of your glass

http://talikerstantrums.blogspot.com/
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Johnny
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Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 3556

PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 7:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh dear Laughing Laughing Laughing and a merry christmas
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Richard P.
Single Maltster
Single Maltster


Joined: 17 May 2005
Posts: 241

PostPosted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 9:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I remember when Father Christmas first passed his sleigh-driving test. He came skidding down in front of the toy factory.

'Have you passed?' I asked.

Father Christmas pointly proudly to the front of the sleigh. 'See for yourself!' he called proudly. 'No-el plates!'
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Alex 56
Superior Blend
Superior Blend


Joined: 21 Oct 2006
Posts: 56

PostPosted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 6:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Have you lot been at the Christmas crackers already Laughing Laughing
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Johnny
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Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 3556

PostPosted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 12:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This never ending joke list is like my ever expanding waistline at this time of year Embarassed
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talisker25
Keeper of the Quaich
Keeper of the Quaich


Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 1991
Location: north east

PostPosted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 6:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Johnny wrote:
This never ending joke list is like my ever expanding waistline at this time of year Embarassed


I've lost 17 kilos since May, Its helped my back no end but have lost the taste for whisky in the process Twisted Evil
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i've been on a whisky diet, i've lost 3 days already

The trouble with jogging is that ice falls out of your glass

http://talikerstantrums.blogspot.com/
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Johnny
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Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 3556

PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 6:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What's 17 kilos in old money, that sounds a lot, well done, wish I could Sad
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talisker25
Keeper of the Quaich
Keeper of the Quaich


Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 1991
Location: north east

PostPosted: Wed Dec 22, 2010 7:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Johnny wrote:
What's 17 kilos in old money, that sounds a lot, well done, wish I could Sad


In old money, about 37 pounds!!, another 23+ to go
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i've been on a whisky diet, i've lost 3 days already

The trouble with jogging is that ice falls out of your glass

http://talikerstantrums.blogspot.com/
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Johnny
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Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 3556

PostPosted: Sat Dec 25, 2010 1:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

talisker25 wrote:
Johnny wrote:
What's 17 kilos in old money, that sounds a lot, well done, wish I could Sad


In old money, about 37 pounds!!, another 23+ to go


Wow, I could do with losing 56 lb's!! Embarassed Embarassed I'd settle for 37. Amazing Talisker your will power is better than mine.
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