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talisker25 Keeper of the Quaich
Joined: 01 Jun 2005 Posts: 1991 Location: north east
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Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 4:54 pm Post subject: |
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Johnny wrote: |
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.
The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."
"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook" |
What a good reminder for talk like a pirate day...
http://www.talklikeapirate.com _________________ i've been on a whisky diet, i've lost 3 days already
The trouble with jogging is that ice falls out of your glass
http://talikerstantrums.blogspot.com/ |
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Alex 56 Superior Blend
Joined: 21 Oct 2006 Posts: 56
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Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 6:31 pm Post subject: |
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I'm sure with a glass of whisky in hand a lot more of these jokes will make sense |
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Johnny Site Admin
Joined: 02 Apr 2005 Posts: 3556
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Black Beer Single Maltster
Joined: 24 Jul 2005 Posts: 229
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Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 7:24 pm Post subject: |
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Remember, an alcoholic & a drunk are not the same thing at all.
The alcoholic has to attend meetings. _________________ Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde |
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Johnny Site Admin
Joined: 02 Apr 2005 Posts: 3556
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Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 7:13 pm Post subject: |
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I was once told by a concerned relative that it didn't matter that I drank expensive alcohol it still was how much I consumed, but at the price of some of the whiskies I've tried over the years I would put myself in to debt after a few bottles!!! _________________ https://www.facebook.com/Let-the-drink-talk-675586225966432/ |
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Richard P. Single Maltster
Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 241
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 6:46 pm Post subject: |
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A less than sober individual was before a judge.
The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking whisky."
The merry individual replies "Okay, let's get started." |
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Johnny Site Admin
Joined: 02 Apr 2005 Posts: 3556
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talisker25 Keeper of the Quaich
Joined: 01 Jun 2005 Posts: 1991 Location: north east
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 6:54 pm Post subject: |
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[quote="Johnny"]I blame Talisker for starting this thread [/quote
Who, me.....well, it has had a lot of posts.
This bloke goes for a job as a guard on the railway and it come time for his final oral test.
The instructor tells that that the fast train going north and the fast train going south and both on the same line, what does he do.
The trainee says that he contact both drivers by phone but the instructor tells him that the phone are not working.
So, the trainee says he goes and switches the points to divert one of the trains, the instructor tells him that the points are frozen and will not move.
So, the trainee says he will put explosive caps on the lines to warn the drivers to stop, the instructor tell him that the do have any explosive caps.
So, the trainee says he will go and get his brother and the instructor asks how this it going to help stop the train and the trainee says that it isn't but he has never seen a train crash before.... _________________ i've been on a whisky diet, i've lost 3 days already
The trouble with jogging is that ice falls out of your glass
http://talikerstantrums.blogspot.com/ |
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Johnny Site Admin
Joined: 02 Apr 2005 Posts: 3556
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