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A Goldfish Joke
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talisker25
Keeper of the Quaich
Keeper of the Quaich


Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 1991
Location: north east

PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 4:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Johnny wrote:
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.

The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."

"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."

"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"




What a good reminder for talk like a pirate day...

http://www.talklikeapirate.com
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i've been on a whisky diet, i've lost 3 days already

The trouble with jogging is that ice falls out of your glass

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Alex 56
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Joined: 21 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 6:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sure with a glass of whisky in hand a lot more of these jokes will make sense Beer Laughing Laughing Laughing
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Johnny
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 12:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alex 56 wrote:
I'm sure with a glass of whisky in hand a lot more of these jokes will make sense Beer Laughing Laughing Laughing


Don't bequite so sure Laughing Laughing
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Black Beer
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Joined: 24 Jul 2005
Posts: 229

PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 7:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Remember, an alcoholic & a drunk are not the same thing at all.
The alcoholic has to attend meetings.
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Johnny
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 7:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was once told by a concerned relative that it didn't matter that I drank expensive alcohol it still was how much I consumed, but at the price of some of the whiskies I've tried over the years I would put myself in to debt after a few bottles!!!
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Richard P.
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Joined: 17 May 2005
Posts: 241

PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 6:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A less than sober individual was before a judge.
The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking whisky."
The merry individual replies "Okay, let's get started."
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Johnny
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 13, 2009 10:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I blame Talisker for starting this thread Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
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talisker25
Keeper of the Quaich
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Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 1991
Location: north east

PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 6:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="Johnny"]I blame Talisker for starting this thread Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing[/quote

Who, me.....well, it has had a lot of posts.

This bloke goes for a job as a guard on the railway and it come time for his final oral test.

The instructor tells that that the fast train going north and the fast train going south and both on the same line, what does he do.

The trainee says that he contact both drivers by phone but the instructor tells him that the phone are not working.

So, the trainee says he goes and switches the points to divert one of the trains, the instructor tells him that the points are frozen and will not move.

So, the trainee says he will put explosive caps on the lines to warn the drivers to stop, the instructor tell him that the do have any explosive caps.

So, the trainee says he will go and get his brother and the instructor asks how this it going to help stop the train and the trainee says that it isn't but he has never seen a train crash before.... Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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i've been on a whisky diet, i've lost 3 days already

The trouble with jogging is that ice falls out of your glass

http://talikerstantrums.blogspot.com/
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Johnny
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 10:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
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